These arseholes were trying to put on a candlelit orgy, but they were too stoned to do it properly. No wonder the alarm had gone off."Come on, Cedric!... said the one who'd spoken first, his mind obviously miles away. "Here's your mask!"Ignoring this, I took one of my many keys and switched-off the alarm, so there was relative silence for a moment. "Here, you can't come here without your mask. Put it on now."On a sudden mad impulse, I did as I was bid. I felt that it magically placed me. TALE TWO - "Does it make my butt look big?"It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday afternoon in South Florida . . . a perfect day to relax and be with my girlfriend Susan. Unfortunately, I was spending it inside . . . and to make it even worse, I was spending it INSIDE a shopping mall!Susan was looking for a new dress to wear to a friend's wedding next weekend and was hell-bent on finding one TODAY. It was excruciating being dragged endlessly from one end of the mall to the other. We went in and. More

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