I had to squeeze past a pile of wood and metal pipes to get there, but finally I was alone. It was just me, surrounded by lockers and junk, and a shor... wooden bench. I leaned against the lockers, and took a few deep breaths, savoring my solitude.I was just about to undo my pants when I heard the door to the locker room open."I know I heard someone come in here," I heard a man say.Shit! Not again! I thought to myself, I was lucky that I went all the way to the back. I tried to stay perfectly. And worse still, people don't THINK about how complicated it is, or how important it can be to do it right.So I decided to write down some thoughts, so that, the next time you contemplate Wrestling the Bald-headed Champ (if you're a guy) or Paddling the Pink Canoe (for you gals), you can do a better job at it.As my primary pen name suggests, I am not inexperienced with the concept of Battling the Purple-Headed Yogurt Slinger that I was born with. A penis is an interesting thing. Women tell me. More

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