I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a shit".2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord does...'t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.The Stuttering CatA teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students."Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl. My new friends, in exchange, invited me to their slumber parties and taught me about makeup. I learned how to look older, hide minor blemishes, make my eyes more oval, paint my nails and style my hair. It was my first experience of looking pretty to be noticed. I loved red lipstick and nail polish. We tested how much makeup we could get away with at school until forced to go to the lavatory and wash it off.Shoes concealed our polished toenails from the nuns. We painted our fingernails on. More

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