As good a time as any to start my autobiography. It’s Britain, so it’s raining. I’m British so it’s important that I mention the weather: my c...mmunication skills would be zilch if I didn’t. Today the weather came up no less than four times. Firstly, Neighbour: Terrible weather! Me: And they call this the start of summer! Neighbour: Gives the flowers a chance I suppose. Later: Newsagents: Not letting up, is it? Me: Good for the flowers, though. Newsagent: Pity I’m not running a garden centre. No. ??What???OH NO, don’t give me that bullshit, you fucker, you better tell me right now.!!!Jeff couldn’t hide it, Mary knew him too well.He filled her in on what happened at the house.?OH MY GOD, you BASTARD.? ?FUCKING BASTARD, HOW COULD YOU?’?Honey I am so sorry, she just threw herself at me, I didn’t want to.??She is a WHORE.??She was bending over letting her tits hang out, she jumped on me at the house and then at the restaurant???WTF happened at the restaurant. Not there too.?Mary slapped. More

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