I knew at some point he would be deployed for six months. I thought that I was prepared for that eventuality and even had plans to keep myself busy. W...en the day finally came we said a tearful goodbye and I set about my new life alone. Boredom and loneliness set in and my distance from my immediate family made it doubly tough. As the days turned into weeks I compartmentalized my relationship with Jay, viewing it as a source of pain.I began to go through the motions. A letter here, a call there.. I’ll gaze into his eyes while I suck, first the tip of one thumb, and then the other. His eyes will get dreamy and the blue of them will shine. He’ll lean in close and nip at my lips, guppy-like, then move upward along the lines of my nose, across my eyelids, and back to my lips. Breathing and nipping. Breathing and nipping. And then he’ll no longer be gentle. He will kiss me hard, until my lips feel bruised and swollen. He’ll rub his day-old beard against my face, scraping and burning my flesh. More

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