As soon as they pull away, I phone to tell my employers I will be late.I start the car and press the brake with the clutch before putting it into gear...and releasing the handbrake accompanied by the Bangles.The brake pedal gives little resistance, concerned, I put the gearstick back to neutral and pull on the handbrake. I stamp on the brake pedal a few more times to convince myself that I have no brakes as the cheery sound of New Order’s Blue Monday urges me to slit my wrists, fuck me, how many. As I did this, the hamper fell shut. To my horror, I heard shuffling in her bed and then the light on her night stand came on. “What in the hell are you doing in my room?” Claire said, still half asleep Oh fuck! I didn’t know she was home! She must have come home while we were all passed out in the living room. Busted! “I…uh…I’m sorry, I’ll leave” “What are you doing with my panties, young man?” “Nothing” “It looks like you were smelling my underwear. I bet you’re the one who’s been stealing. More

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