‘He’s gone.’ was all she could manage to say. In that moment, I made sounds I’d never even imagined I could make, I wailed and cried harder th...n I had ever thought was possible. Ryan, our youngest child and only son, my little boy, was gone. I held his limp form against my chest tightly, rocking back and forth in the chair automatically, not sure who or what that rocking motion was supposed to comfort or ease…in any case, it didn’t work. But then, in that moment, nothing could. Barbara was. The repeated shocks, combined with the messages instigating rebellion would subconsciously make the thought of disobeying me painful to Jessica. I continued these 4 hour cycles for a 48-hour period, rewarding subservience and punishing disobedience. On the third day I returned to the bedroom. Jessica had just undergone another four hours on a sexual pleasure cycle. As I entered the room her expression was somewhat perplexed, as if she was no longer able to understand where she was or what was. More

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