" No Ronnie, just a curious one" I said and then I got up and walked away from the table.For the rest of the party every time I looked her way she was...watching me. Good, I thought, I've planted the seed and now all I can do is water it and hope that it grows. The watering was simply to keep watching Ronnie. If she was the slut that I had been led to believe she was she would not let it lie. She would pick at it like a scab.Two weeks later we were at a birthday party for Marie's grandmother and. I made a note of this in my phone, but when I wrote the word “sexual,” it aroused me.It was a very meta-masturbatory day.Difficult Rating: 5Day 4Nothing to note. A surprisingly easy day squeezed in between two difficult ones.Difficult Rating: 2Day 5Today, I considered quitting. I questioned why I was doing it, depriving myself of this tiny joy, and started to envision what quitting after 5 days or 7 days would look like. But I did not fail. I courageously pressed on.Difficult Rating: 8Day 6I. More

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