"After your massage, I'll probably get my dinner at some fast food joint, go home, eat dinner, and stay up till fall asleep. Why do you ask?" I respon...ed."I was wondering if you would like to spend the night with me. I would love to give you a massage in return and possibly feel your body against mine." Randy replied as he sat up from the massage table.After thinking for a few seconds, I happily responded, "I look forward to spending the night with you."Randy then got up from the massage table,. I spent the summerwandering from one job to another. I couldn't stay settled in anything.The drugs and the buried pain didn't help. Finally, a few days afterLabor Day, I snapped. I had been reading a lot about people who justgot to the point where they gave up on their life, and just took offhitchhiking or by other methods, looking for something better. I keptthinking about it, without anyone I could really talk to about it. Onenight, after not being able to sleep again, I finally did. More

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