I loved you and trusted you more than anyone in the whole world, but I couldn't tell you that. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I don't know why. Perhaps ...t had something to do with my father, the lousy childhood I had, the drunken rages before he left. The night he left us left scars in me that no man could ever overcome. I so wanted to let you, so many times. I saw how you treated the girls, and I knew you wouldn't hurt me. But I just couldn't break out of the mold that I had been cast into. My. My plan was simple: first, be their bitch; then, use that against them to take control.I closed my eyes and let my mind wander to time of sexual fun and intense pleasure. There were many, many times to choose from that fit that criteria, especially since being released by Jake and Bobbi to be myself and experience everything I could. That was where my mind settled, at the ranch, but not on a specific time or activity or partner. Instead, my mind flowed from time to time, partner to partner, and. More

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