Such a sense of loneliness fell upon me. Deep sadness, and regretted my loss. My mind began to recall many things that Kim and I did, the places we vi...ited, and the words we shared, both public and private.As soon as one event popped into my head, it was followed by another and then another. Soon my body tensed up, my breathing became heavy, and I could hear my heartbeat in my head. I tried to distract myself by watching some dumb TV show to no avail.Minutes became hours, for I could not calm. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he keeps mumbling over and over…I quickly reach down with both hands to his collar and lift him to his feet and shake him “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” I scream inches from his face, and throw him. He flies a few feet to the ground again… sprawled and whimpering…I hate being this angry. I need to communicate to the boy that he had truly disappointed me. I am pacing now, he knows to stay on the ground, he has at least learned this through the hours of training I have. More

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