“I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other wanker using my stuff”. She looked at me and said: “What makes you thi...k I’d marry another wanker?”Sent my washing to the cleaners the other day with a note enclosed ‘use more soap powder on pants’. When the laundry came back there was another note attached ‘use more paper on arse’.I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party,. "Jennifer" I said "You may cup my balls in your hands". She rather awkwardly reached out both hands to feel my balls. "Gently now". I explained that I was rather well endowed in that department, and she was not to expect all men to have such big balls. She continued to hold them, her eyes widening. "You can see that I am shaved" Yes, she replied. It looks nice. "Do you shave yourself" I asked. She shook her head and barely muttered a "No". Mmm... I thought to myself.... that can be a pleasure. More

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