She really was dead to him. He heard a sob from Ellen.I won’t be dead to her though, Jake sent to Jan. I think from her perspective it will be like...I am always just out of touch. She’ll only be able to read me when I’m not focused on her. She’ll be able to eavesdrop on my life but never communicate directly with me. In a way, that will be a relief.Why would you say that? Jan said.Because, to me, it’s the simple truth when I say she is dead to me. This new reality spares me, the old Jake, from. It was only by doing your job in the scheme that allowed everyone to survive. You could have initiative, but only within the plan, someone else's plan. He had learned that in the mountains of Afghanistan. If you did your job exactly and the man next to you did his, you could go into those rugged mountains, kill the enemy who wasn't as disciplined, and get back out. Life meant following the leader, thinking about your tasks, and carrying them out, even when you were so scared you felt like. More

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