Only, as soon as I thought the thought, I put it out of my mind as silly nonsense."We don't chose the one we fall in love with," I told myself, "it's ...ust a coincidence that he was attracted to someone who looked exactly like me, exactly like his mother."Then, I wondered if he purposely set out to find someone who looked enough like me that, when he was having sex with his wife, he'd pretend he was having sex with me? It was weirdly disturbing to think that thought and even though I tried not. The thing I missed most was that the few local men I met were unbelievably shy of girls, no one my own age dared even speak to me in eight weeks but I enjoyed the chill out after my “relationship” trouble at home. I had lived with David for six months, truthfully the only thing I missed him for was sex, he had been my first and good at it. That’s probably why I was still masturbating a lot while thinking about him, even in Wales. I hated myself but did it most nights in bed and sometimes on hot. More

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