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Sods law. My old granny always used to greet this kind of thing with a sage nod and say, ‘shit happens even in Kansas’. And then she’d giggle. I...have no idea why she said this, because to my certain knowledge she had never been to Kansas; in fact I would be surprised if she even knew where it was. She had certainly never been further abroad than a day trip to Paris. When someone mentioned Americans, that is those from the United States, she would always say, as did many of her generation, ‘Over. I squat down and grab an apron string in my mouth and give it a tug. Opening up the back so I can get to you. Kneeling down I trace the back of your leg. Down one side, and back up the other. Giving you a quick bite on the ass as I slip a finger around your waist band. With my teeth I rip your thong from your body. The sound of tearing cotton makes your toes curl. Grabbing your ankles I spread your feet apart, causing you to bite your lip. Pressed against the cabinet, and braced on the counter. More

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